Does this make a difference, if yes, then how much?

Im have to admit i suck at being in relationships, im very knowlegdeable about what it takes to make one work, but i very seldom put this into good use. I have a few trust issues, mostly stemming from my father's affair and him abandoning me when i was little. Its hard for me to believe my boyfriend, or any other man could love me when i dont feel my own father did. basically i have my moments where i feel worthless and this cause problems between my bf and i. He's knows that its hard for me and for the most part he is understanding and sometimes just laughs off my crazy moments. But lately i have been feeling very odd and its causing me to feel suspicious of many things. He's been stressed by school, and other things so my "feelings" have just added to his frustration. Because i am aware of my own problems and knwo that i need help so that i can overcome them, i always try to be rational about how i work things out with my bf. I notice after i say things like " Yea i know im just